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Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Spoof Red Carpet Event 3rd August 2007

Well, the clue is in the title . . .

Believe it or not this is the first chance I've had to write this blog because a hectic time and recovery from the Red Carpet Event has slowed this epistle down. And trying to join up to all of these internet sites/service is driving me crazy. A personal thanks here to Steve Weber for his help . . . and patience! Thank goodness I bought his book, now all I need is for him to move in lol!!!

Have you seen Helles Belles?
Well shame on you . . . go and watch it now on Myspace and then come back and read the rest of this blog. Otherwise you won't have a clue what I'm talking about.

Now to the Red Carpet Event.
Well, we do like to do things different here, and this was no exception. As the crowd of adoring fans waited outside of the venue (our village hall) the cast assembled in the local pub (the only pub in the village actually) in some trepidation as our Director had mentioned that a Limo would be collecting us. Limo's and twisty, narrow dales roads do not go hand-in-hand so you can imagine there was some concern boosted by our Director's quirky sense of humour. After a slight delay the Limo did indeed arrive and the cast were carried in splendor to the venue. Did I say splendor? Ooops . . . I should have said converted Ambulance.

The red carpet was rolled out ready, the champagne was on ice to be served to arriving celebrities and the bouncer was working hard on crowd control trying to maintain calmness while they awaited my arrival.

Suddenly I was there and was deafened by the screams of excited fans clamoring for my autograph; the bouncer worked hard to keep them in check behind the barrier. I signed as many autographs as possible, hating to disappoint, then he guided me safely through the melee to the waiting press reporter and tv interviewer.

After answering many questions from the press I had to insist they let me go. Someone else was waiting to arrive. Relieved and somewhat exhausted I gratefully joined the rest of the cast inside needing more ice cold champagne to ease my throat whilst waiting for our final actress to join us. We knew she'd arrived by the screams of the crowd and Sienna (ok it's a pseudonym, it was really Sat Nav) and her stuffed dog Yip Yap (who stood in for her treasured Yorkshire Terrier) stepped out of the Ambulance, oh no sorry, Limo.

Miss Ruby Diamond was our brilliant Hostess for the evening and presented the Oscars . . . oh no damn, it was certificates wasn't it?! I was just getting a bit carried away there but they are as precious to us as Oscars lol! As with all Oscar ceremonies, some of our cast could not be there - holidays and personal appearances interfering - but in true Hollywood style we linked to them via satellite. Yes, you can tell this was an evening of pure style. Just to show how glam we all looked - that's me and Sat Nav of course - I have posted a couple of photos. We know that you don't want to see the others!

There will, of course, eventually be a film appearing of the night. When I have time to edit it, that is. I've no idea when that will be as I have to finish writing my sequel. But control yourselves - it will be worth waiting for and something for you all to look forward to!

In conclusion I would just like to thank my wonderful partner, my amazing family, my beautiful dogs, my darling friends, my long suffering therapist, my female gynaecologist, my bank manager, my car . . . oh everyone really . . . thank you . . . without you all I could not have done it . . . lol!

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